I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
A bitchslap is in order.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
