This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
