This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
