Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
