Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
