question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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