Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
