Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I would ride that face into the sunset
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
