Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
