You can't motorboat a personality
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
