You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
