You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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