We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
