Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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