I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
