My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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