is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
