Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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