She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
