I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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