No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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