we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
