Whod you bang
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
try to milk me bitch
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
