I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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