How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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