It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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