I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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