I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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