saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
