i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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