My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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