I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize