You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
