i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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