Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize