another moral hangover. fuck.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
