Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
