I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize