The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm at about main and main street
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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