So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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