when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
