Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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