Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
