Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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