During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
