My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
