i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
