I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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