This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
