god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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