I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That accounts for only three of the penises
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
