Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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