A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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