Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
