question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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