Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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