I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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