Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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