it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
