Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
