I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
