do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
