i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
