we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to have your abortion
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
