I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
