i just google imaged poop.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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